On the plus side

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It’s not a big deal that you gained weight. Honestly, in the big picture, who cares? Did you live life the way you wanted to? Did you have fun? Did you find people you love? Did you learn lots of interesting things? That’s probably what you’re gonna care about when you’re at your death bed, not about the fact that you “gained weight” when you were 21.

My 18 year old brother, when i was freaking out about my recovery weight gain.  (via thephilyptian)

(via colormylifewiththecha0softrouble)

For some reason, we are truly convinced that if we criticize ourselves, the criticism will lead to change. If we are harsh, we believe we will end up being kind. If we shame ourselves, we believe we end up loving ourselves. It has never been true, not for a moment, that shame leads to love. Only love leads to love.

Geneen Roth 

You're so beautiful and looking through your blog, you seem so in control of yourself and style. I'm still trying to figure out both of those things! What would you say the one must-have clothing item would be for a size 12-14 girl?

Asked by
-just-looking-

I like high wasted everything. It’s comfortable and flattering. But wear what you love no matter what it is! <3

Hi Heather! First off, I love your blog so much. It gives me inspiration to feel beautiful and comfortable in my own "plus size" body. Recently, a lot of friends around me have become obsessed with their weight, calorie counting, etc etc. Some of them have begun to say really scary things, and that worries me a lot. I'm all for eating healthy, but seeing my friends reduced to numbers on a scale or a calorie counter makes me sad. Is there any way I could help them without being insensitive?

Asked by
inn-amorata

Sounds like you’re far from insensitive. <3 I’d say exactly what you just told me. You care, it’s beautiful. Let them know. Remember that it’s not actually about calories and weight. Something else is happening there. 

Hi Heather! First, I would start saying how grateful I am to have found you on tumblr. Your story is very helpful for all the people who is going through this kind of disorders. And, as a lover of photography, your work seems great. Now, what I would like to ask you is this: Since last month, I'm going through changes in my mood which lead me to eat binge. I'm trying to remedy this on my own, without having to consult with the doctor. You think it's possible to get it? And if so, how?

Asked by
tangointhenights

Thanks! I obviously love your black and white blog, given the fact I have an entire other tumblr dedicated to that. :) 

Everyone’s different. Can you find balance on your own? Can you dig deep and understand the root causes of your mood changes? I am not religious, but Women Food and God is an excellent book I’d definitely recommend for this type of thing. Read some of the quotes from the book to see if you connect with it. Regardless, one of the bravest things someone can do is to get help. <3

“Our work is not to change what you do, but to witness what you do with enough awareness, enough curiosity, enough tenderness that the lies and old decisions upon which the compulsion is based become apparent and fall away. When you no longer believe that eating will save your life when you feel exhausted or overwhelmed or lonely, you will stop. When you believe in yourself more than you believe in food, you will stop using food as if it were your only chance at not falling apart. When the shape of your body no longer matches the shape of your beliefs, the weight disappears. (p. 80-81)” 
― Geneen RothWomen Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything

Have you ever felt like you just don't fit in somewhere? I feel the way about high school. I just don't got in. It's horrible.

Asked by
Anonymous

That was definitely me in high school. But it’s not forever. It gets better. Soon you won’t be rewarded for being the same as everyone else, you’ll be admired for your uniqueness. 

I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling like I know who I want to be but I can't reach it. I want to be strong and confident and sexy but it feels like I will always be seen as the girl that melts into the crowd. I want to stop crying at every little thing and I want to be sexy instead of cute. I have no idea how to even start to make this transition.

Asked by
Anonymous

I’ll always be the girl who’s never comfortable in a crowd. I’m the girl who brought math to a date, the girl who ate lunch in the high school library. I’m a wallflower. I’m different. I’m not a basic bitch, and I think that’s what makes me sexy. :P

Confidence comes from learning about yourself, knowing your self, and then being that self. It’s already in you. Explore. 

Hi! i'm the chilean girl again :) i don´t know what to do or think really, i´m going to the gym since two months, but i don´t see any changes :( , my problem is the food i guess, I´m married (i´m 25 years old) and also i´m studing fashion design so i don´t have time to cook any thing, or eat. I have a healthy breakfast but my problem starts with de lunch , sometimes a i don´t have it and when i have to dinner i eat everything... how can i do ? or can you tell me an advice ? thanks very much <3

Asked by
Anonymous

SNACK it up!

Keep that metabolism burning and your blood sugar stable. Eat something every few (3-ish) hours. Don’t get so hungry that you are ravished. Your body will go into starvation mode and then hoard whatever you do eat as fat. 

Some snacks I like to eat: 

  • handful of almonds
  • carrots, plantain chips, or peppers with hummus
  • banana & almond butter
  • apple & sunflower butter + cinnamon 
  • natural bars, like Kind, or Green+
  • half an avocado with olive oil & sea salt 
  • smoothie: kale, almond butter, almond milk, banana 
  • natural trail mix 
  • natural popcorn 

Hi. Do you ever compare yourself to other women? I always do. To amazing women. It is so fucked up becouse it makes me feel like the ugliest most fattest thing.

Asked by
Anonymous

Of course, but I try my hardest not to. Comparison really is the thief of joy. You seem to be equating amazing women with attractive and slim. What about her mind? Or incredible qualities of her character? These are the things that inspire me in the women around me. I find inspiration from all sorts of people and their ideas, incorporating the parts I like, leaving the parts I don’t. No one person is going to have everything. Plus, you never know what battle their fighting in their life. Not everything is what it seems. And since we can’t ever quite know, there’s no need to get bogged down.