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1 post tagged mental prison
Anonymous asked: Just to preface—I don’t mean for this to be rude in any way, I’m just curious :) Anyways.. I haven’t really seen you mention the words eating disorder, anorexia, bulimia, or anything along those lines… have you accepted the fact that you did have an eating disorder? As someone who is in recovery from an eating disorder, it’s a little unsettling. It makes me wonder if you are perhaps in denial of the disorder? Or do you simply find it easier to recover without the labels? Again, I really do not mean to be rude at all; I just can’t think of a better way of asking.
Not rude at all! I think I made it a point not to mention it, because you’re right: I don’t want to label it. And, I guess I do think it’s easier to recover without labels, because the disorder is not you. It is not your soul. You are the thing that is stepping back and recognizing the problem. To me, the best description I could ever give it is a mental prison. I was diagnosed with an “eating disorder not otherwise specified.” However, I believe it was heavily, I mean heavily, OCD-based. There were points when I honestly didn’t care if I was getting thinner or stronger, I just had to reach a certain number or do something in a certain way to rid myself of the anxiety. I had obsessions and compulsions to get things perfect. I am in no way in denial of the disorder I had. I think answering these questions proves that. :)
